Don’t Worry

Telling a parent “Don’t Worry” is a nice gesture but wasted breath. If you’ve ever been a parent you know it is true. It isn’t until you become a parent that you truly appreciate your own parents.

Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put stitches in my daughters hand and I asked,
'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage.' My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom
and listened as the teacher told me my daughter had to be put in time out. My frown made the teacher smile. As if to read my mind, she said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage it will pass then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.' My Parents just smiled and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the car to come home, the front door to open. A friend said,
'They're trying to find themselves. 'Don't worry! In a few years, they'll be adults. 'They'll be off on their own. They'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was so tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my child, but now there was a new wrinkle..
Even though she was on her own I continued to anguish over her failures, be tormented by her frustrations and absorbed in her disappointments.. and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled and said nothing.

My friends said that when my kids got married
I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by My Parents' warm smiles and their occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'. Are you depressed about something?'

My friends said that when I became a Grandparent that I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling Grandma! Grandpa! And I do!
But now I find that I worry just as much about the little ones as my big ones. How does one cope with all this Worry?

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?

One time my daughter became quite irritable, saying to me,
'Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered.
I was worried.' I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

~Author Unknown

Instead of telling your parents, “Don’t Worry” consider telling them, “Thanks for Worrying,” instead. Remember, those annoying little worries only mean they love you with all that they are.

Old Fashion Mothering

 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A  JOB WELL DONE ..

'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

'You better pray that  will come out of the Carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL ...

'If you don't straighten up, I'm  going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

'Because I said so,that's why.'

5.  My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

'If you  fall out of that swing and break your neck you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother  taught me IRONY

‘Keep crying, and I'll give  you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..

'You'll sit there until all that  spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR  MODIFICATION.

'Stop acting like your  father!'

15. My  mother taught me about ENVY ..

'There are  millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about  ANTICIPATION.

'Just wait until we get  home.'

17. My  mother taught me about RECEIVING ..

'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes,they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.

'Put your sweater on; don't  you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

'When that lawn mower cuts off your  toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME  AN ADULT .

'If you don't eat your  vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me  GENETICS.

'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother  taught me about my ROOTS.

'Shut that door  behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me  WISDOM.

'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25.  And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 

'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

26. My mother taught me about Discipline

‘Now that you’ve had your spanking, go to your room and don’t come until I call you.’

Call them old fashion, but they worked.

THANKS MOM!

A Kids Point of View

Written by a 15 year old school kid in Arizona

New Pledge of Allegiance

In response to the Pledge of Allegiance And The Lord's Prayer not being allowed in most public schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned... A kid in Arizona wrote the attached Pledge.

New School prayer: 

Now I sit me down in school 
Where praying is against the rule 
For this great nation under God 
Finds mention of Him very odd. 

If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights. 
And anytime my head I bow 
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, 
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.. 
The law is specific, the law is precise. 
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. 

For praying in a public hall 
Might offend someone with no faith at all.. 
In silence alone we must meditate, 
God's name is prohibited by the state. 

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, 
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks... 
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. 
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, 
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. 
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong, 
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong... 

We can get our condoms and birth controls, 
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.. 

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, 
No word of God must reach this crowd. 

It's scary here I must confess, 
When chaos reigns the school's a mess. 
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: 
Should I be shot; My soul please take! 

Amen 

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: 
I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home. 
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes.. Children 
must learn that their parents aren't perfect.. 
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart..
But most of all, I loved you enough to say 
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all..
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. 
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?

I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,
we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was 
different from what other kids had, too. 
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were
and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to break 
the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, 
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel
jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night 
thinking of more things for us to do. 
She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, 
she could read our minds 
and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk
the horn when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date
when they were 12 or 13,
we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out
on lots of things other kids experienced.
None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

~Author unknown

When life throws you a curve ball step back and swing hard!

It's That Time Again

The weather out side is nice, well except for a few treacherous storms here and there, and it's once again time for F2K to begin. For those of you who are unfamiliar with F2K, it is a free online writing course for aspiring writers. The course is a seven week course sponsored by Writers' Village University and is staffed by writers who volunteer as Mentors.  It is a great place to learn, get motivated, and network with other writers.


At last count, we had like 400 students enrolled for the April session of F2K. It looks as if this is going to be an awesome session with lots of opportunities to make new friends who aspire to write.


The course starts this Wednesday; so as a mentor, I will be spending the next few days roaming around the online halls meeting the new students and helping everyone get oriented to the site. 


I always look forward to the F2K sessions because it allows me the opportunity to spend time working with others who have a passion for writing. Writing is a time consuming art, but for those who aspire to write it is time well spent.


Before I go I thought I'd share a little writing humor with you.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.


She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.


"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."


A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.


"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"


"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a great day,
Granny

2010 Stella Awards

Here is the list of 2010 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

 

Here are the Stellas for 2010

*SEVENTH PLACE*
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son

Start scratching!
  
* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...

* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more....

Double hand scratching after this one..
 
*FOURTH PLACE*
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..
  
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching...

*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
Ok. Here we go!! 
* FIRST PLACE *

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.

Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set.

The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home. 

If you think the court system is out of control,

You wouldn't be the only one! 

They walk among us!