Old Fashion Mothering

 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A  JOB WELL DONE ..

'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

'You better pray that  will come out of the Carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL ...

'If you don't straighten up, I'm  going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

'Because I said so,that's why.'

5.  My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

'If you  fall out of that swing and break your neck you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother  taught me IRONY

‘Keep crying, and I'll give  you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..

'You'll sit there until all that  spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR  MODIFICATION.

'Stop acting like your  father!'

15. My  mother taught me about ENVY ..

'There are  millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about  ANTICIPATION.

'Just wait until we get  home.'

17. My  mother taught me about RECEIVING ..

'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes,they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.

'Put your sweater on; don't  you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

'When that lawn mower cuts off your  toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME  AN ADULT .

'If you don't eat your  vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me  GENETICS.

'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother  taught me about my ROOTS.

'Shut that door  behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me  WISDOM.

'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25.  And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 

'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

26. My mother taught me about Discipline

‘Now that you’ve had your spanking, go to your room and don’t come until I call you.’

Call them old fashion, but they worked.

THANKS MOM!